Coming home to reality?

Some things never change and you fit right back into it like you were never gone. Me and TV are a great example.
But some things have changed and I dont even know the full extent of it yet. They come slowly one by one till you are left wondering what has happened to your life. Creating doubts about what you want from life.
How much can one year change you? Maybe a lot, maybe not at all.
Who am I? the person i was before this year, the person i was during this year or some amalgamation of the two i still have to find. Ask me a few months from now!

I wish i could think of something else

Never have I been this short of conversation as I am now. Most of what I think about is bar exam and studying and exhaustion and the lack of sleep. How am I, you ask... I have come down to a grunt or shrug.. there are no more words left.
every conversation i have inevitably turns to bar. sure, we go off and talk about something fun - like how to get rid of the stupid mouse which deigned to share its company with us in our humble abode for a few days.. but we always come back to this.
But then i suppose it is natural. just two more weeks and then I am free of this.. at this point, i dont care about passing or failing (which there is a very good chance of..).. aww hell, ofcourse i care. it would be horrible to fail and if i fail, none of you are going to hear about it. so if I dont tell you anything, forget I ever gave the exam, that i was in NY for anything other than LLM..
and if I pass, then ofcourse you are going to hear about it.. i would be shouting it from the rooftops.. and hell to anyone who says I am arrogant!

think before you write

I have accepted that I have a big mouth for certain things.. I brag about some things.. But apparently facebook has allowed my big mouth to progress to the online sphere and reach a larger audience.. i tried to avoid anything stupid.. but there i went and did it.. and it has come to bite me ages later..
And if I think about it, I deserved it. I had no right to write about my score on someone else's status.. And I cant even say it was inadvertent. I knew what I was doing.

Its the second time I have been accused of arrogance or something like that. the first time, i let it go.. But maybe its time for some self evaluation.. or better yet, time to keep my big mouth shut!!!!

English is a very phunny language

How did we let our English teachers get away without explaining all this??
1. Why is put pronounced differently than cut, rut, gut, hut, nut?
2. Why is go, so, no different from to, do?
3. How can know and no sound same and Why doesnt know and snow sound similar to now?
4. Why does tough and rough have f sound wheras though and dough dont?
5. Why do we have to use ph when we have a letter f?
6. How can read have two pronunciations? why cant you write past tense read as red or write the present tense read as reed?
7. Why does while need h but wide doesnt?
8. Why does I need a plural verb? and if so, why is it I was and not I were?
9. what is the right pronunciation of vase?
10. Why does dove (as in the bird) and dove (as in verb) have different pronunciation?

And i wonder how grown manage to learn this language?

Ignorant, are we??

You never realize how ignorant you are till you come to a new place and you meet people who know about your country down to its population, economics and culture and you know next to nothing about theirs. which is embarrassing. Every person i meet asks me the city i am from and I have barely any comments to make. Oh Slovakia.. werent u once part of Czechoslovakia!! is that what i say. Which begs the question.. are we as clueless as we make americans out to be. we are so absorbed with our own country, our own culture, languages that we dont bother to understand others. or Maybe its just that india is a known country.. perhaps more so than other countries. But i guess i am in a good place to learn. I can understand a little bit about these countries and how they work.
Yes, i am grateful for this opportunity.

It never ends!!!

You know how you look forward to the day when your current tension would end. Like the last exam.. or getting enrolled in an institution. You are so fed up of the numerous things you have to do and you hope for the day when you can sit back and say, its finished. That day never comes does it? You get to relax for like 5 minutes or less before some other aspect comes into your mind and you start the worry and the running around. The last few months I have been filling forms and arranging for hundred things and finally I thought I was done. And here I am, worrying about other hundred little things before I can finally settle in. It just never ends. There is no finally, is there?

Genetic Range of Possibilities

How much of us is shaped by genetics? I dont want to get into the Age-old Nature versus nurture debate though i have always leaned towards nurture. But for me, I guess in a way, genetics also means family. There are ways in which we resemble our parents and grandparents and uncles and aunts. Maybe it is genes. or maybe it is the fact that we have grown up with those characteristics and imbibed them without deliberation. But here is what I blame on my genetics.

1. Uncontrollable hair
2. Tendency to grey at a young age.
3. Impatience
4. The need to talk continuously at times
5. The going in by one ear and goes out the other ear.
6. Hatred of cooking
7. Love or rather need of arguing
8. Sarcasm
9. Teasing anybody and everybody

I might think of more...
PS: funny thing... apparently i look exactly like my father and like my mother. And my sister. And my paternal grandmother.