Reasonable reasons?

Why is it that things that I am sure about have questionable motives? Most of the times, I have no idea what I want. I just go with the flow, taking whatever I get. Not really achieving something. And when I feel I do know what I want, very soon I am hit by the thought of justifying it. Because I dont know why I want it. Atleast I dont know any positive reason for wanting it. It sometimes seems as if all my decisions and dreams (whatever few i have) are based more on negativity of other things than any positive influence. Like its too hard, its expected of me, its been done before by others, I need to get away from here. Why cant I do something or want something for itself?

Its very irritating to question yourself over such things. Either you should have the ability to justify your actions to yourself or not care about the reasons for it. This halfway where I am stuck just makes life difficult. Perhaps I should learn to accept my reasons for what they are. There are not always 'right' reasons for doing something or wanting something. Sometimes, negativity is what you have.